Procrastination....eek

So, I was reading a blog earlier (by accident, I dont even know how I got there), and it occured to me that I haven't blogged (blahhhhhged in my case) in some time. Found my own blogs and started reading through them. It's been a year since I've written. Dad passed on Thanksgiving 2009. It was peaceful, and we were with him. I still cry at least once a week, and I talk to him. I miss him so very much. Then I came across this random blog where a couple lost 3 beautiful children, courtesy of a drunken driver. Wow....it was hard to think about. I may not have kids, but I think about my nieces and nephews, and how horrible it would be to lose any one of them. So,,,tonite my prayers are for Tara and her family.

Susan Boyle Lives My Dream!

This made my heart bubble over, and I cried like a baby.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related

Pop's Trip to KU

Mom called me at work today when they were leaving Kansas City. She said the oncologist there told them pretty much the same as the oncologist here. She had no sadness in her voice, was just reporting the facts to me, and sounded like a mom telling a child what a word means. I knew, and she knew I knew, that she was crying inside, but didnt want Pop to know how much she was hurting. I called them to make sure they got home okay, and talked to Pop for a bit this evening. Asked him if he was gonna try chemo again. He said he doesnt know, and will worry about it tomorrow. I know he wont want to, but Mom will ask him to try it, and if he starts feeling sick again he can quit. He'll do it for her. He'll do anything for her, and she'll do anything for him.

Shortly after the phone call, I left work. I didnt come home and cry. I just came home. My world isnt spinning off its axis, and Im not angry or weepy,,,,Im just tired. I cant remember the last time I didnt feel tired,,physically and mentally. I cant remember the last time I was really really happy. I hope it comes again someday.

I am thinking I'll start looking for a tater-head terrier. Dad will shake his head and say "for pity's sake, we dont need another animal". But,,,he will love it, and especially if it can lay on the bed with him and eat little bites of cheese and crackers with him.

Think I need to go sit for a while and just be.

Darkside Soap

A dear friend and wonderful photographer has just taken on a new venture. Soap making. This guy's sense of humor and down-to-earth all around good-hearted soul just makes me smile everytime I think of him. So Im sharing his link here, because he really is a very cool guy, and Im sure his soap is fantastic. Be sure to read all the descriptions if nothing else. Im pretty sure nobody's ever used "Area 51" soap, or "Gassy Uranus" ,,or even "Bunny Magnet" soap,,so it's sure to be an adventure. Personally, Im going to order a bar of "Centralia Mine Fire" ! If you give it a try, let me know how it goes. Here's the link-

http://www.darksidesoap.com/

He also has some fantastic photography at -

http://www.merlavageimages.com/

His wife is super talented too. She makes Fipperies-

http://www.sugarloafcrafts.com/merlavage.html

Mom, Dad and my brother left today for Kansas City to see the cancer doctor there. I cut Dad's hair last night, and visited with them all. I feel left out, not being able to go...but my job is important to them too (taking care of the pups that they adore). My schedule for the next few days is going to be from 6am-11pm. Bah,,,my schedule now is 10am-1am. HA! This is gonna be tough, but I can do it for the folks.

Talked Mom into letting me have a dog at her house. LOL! The Vintulapop would NOT be happy with a new family member, especially one of the canine species. So Mom and I were laughing about my getting a dog and letting it live at their house. And...she said I could if I really wanted. Now,,what this actually means, is that she wants one. So,,,Im trying to decide,,,shall I get one that will snuggle with Pop while he's laid up,,,or shall I get one later,,when Mom will need something to distract her?
I told myself it would be criminal to buy a purebred dog when there are so many mutts at the Humane Society that desperately need homes. But then I found out that our animal shelter does horrible things to the animals before they can leave. They chip them (I know,,people think it's a good thing,,,but it's really not), and they spay/neuter them while they're puppies (also a bad thing for the health of the animal). That being said,,,I really dont think I can bring myself to go anywhere BUT the Humane Society if I'm going to provide a home for a dog. Sigh... I really was going to get them (Mom and Dad) a "tater head terrier". LOL...that's what we've been calling them. A miniature bull terrier is what Im talking about. A Spuds McKenzie pup. I think they're just about the goofiest looking little things, but Mom's wanted one forever, and even though Dad says "NO",,,he would love it. Dad's said no to every animal we ever had growing up,,,then we'd catch him sharing cookies and popcorn with said animal. Anyway,,I need to make some decisions about this.

Will update Pop's dr. visit when I hear something.

Assignment

The assignment of the week is to find something to make me feel some sort of purpose in my life. Im thinking big scale (you know,,rehabilitating wild animals in Africa), but will start small and see what pans out. There are some specific goals I want to meet, but not sure what I'll find in the way of "giving back" that will fit my schedule,,,so right now it's all about research. Even that is a start I suppose. Ultimately, I'd like a complete career change, but I don't know if that's realistic in these times, and especially at my age. But,,,I suppose I'll never know if I don't start looking for opportunities. If nothing else, just the search for "new" in my life will feel productive.

The Vintulapop are finding their nap spots til I go to bed. Tula is on the monitor warming her tummy, Poppy is on her blanky on the back of a chair, and Vin thinks his spot is on me. Not on my lap,,but laying across my chest. I think it's bedtime for all!

Micro Manage THIS....

I produce an average of 25,600.00 for my employer, per month. This is based on the most recent quarterly average report put out. The most recent 6 month average, falls to a little over 22,000.00 per month. At that rate, figure 264,000.00 a year that I bring in. Not the highest producer in the office, but a far cry from the lowest producer, and something Im fairly proud of. Today I was informed that I was short 5.4 minutes in telephone time yesterday, and neglected to indicate where a consumer called from (even though the phone number was there on the screen). Some days,,,I just want to bitch slap somebody that has that kind of time on their hands.

Vin the Wonder Cat Strikes Again

Sat on the front porch for a bit this evening. When I came back in, I had a spider crawling on my arm. Naturally, I screamed and pulled out several chunks of hair during the flailing that one does when trying to rid themselves of a spider. Vinny the Wonder Cat came shooting out of nowhere and sunk his teeth into my leg. This is the second time he's bitten me when I've flailed about. I dont know why he's so freaked out. I mean, he wasn't even in the same room. He just heard the commotion and came running to get in the mix. Damned cat. He's about as neurotic as they come, that one.

Talked to Pop today on the phone. I always ask "how ya feelin' today?" and he always says "oh, pretty good. " It's a stupid conversation, but I don't really know what else to say. His eyes light up when my brother walks into the room, and me,,,I just go sit next to Dad like a lump on a log, and we exchange a few words, but there's no conversation to speak of. I know he loves me, and he knows I love him, just wish the words would come easier.